Back to Business: The Love & Hip Hop Read

Yeeeeeeeeees Sugar Babies! I am... BACK!!! Oh how I've missed giving you guys your LIFE!!! Well I'm back and Just in time to give a full read on this ratchet train wreck we call Love and Hip Hop Atlanta! Lets get into this!:



Traci... Drew! Y'all may not be a couple? But you are DEFINITELY still fucking. Traci would have no reason to constantly get upset if there was nothing going on between you two. So, I'm thinking y'all need to stop fucking and keep it at STRICTLY co-parenting. Thanks



Oh Che... So pretty in make up... Until you open your mouth!!! Now here's the problem... Che you don't like Joseline and Joseline doesn't like you... Why try to do a song with her when you knew it would result in you getting shaded to high heaven? And WHY would you go out and get braces without getting your teeth whitened first?! My dear I understand the struggle is real, but let your hustle be your own. Don't depend on a track with Joseline getting you anywhere because you are in a completely different genre!



Stevie and Joseline... I see your hustle! I fuck with your hustle! You have a solid bond... Stevie... Joseline is your biggest money maker NEVER do anything to piss her off! That little contract you have? Can EASILY be turned over in a court of law my dear. Not just that, but Stevie how do you STILL not have a car with all that money you're making! You're still getting royalties for the over 400 songs that you've produced! I don't know chile, I guess Joseline is just more of a hustler than you are.



Scrappy! Lord JESUS! Where do I start? You know what? I'm going to keep it real short sweet and too the point! Scrappy you don't DESERVE a woman like Erica! You deserve a scally wag like Shay. Someone, that like yourself, is still trying to come up off their old hustle. Erica to this day works a 9 to 5 to make sure that Imani is taken care of. What does Shay do again? Oh okay. Scrappy who is checking for you? Oh Alright. Yet Erica is all of a sudden a gold digger and a "bad mom". Keep it cute Scrappy.



MOMMA DEE! SITCHO SCAR LOOKING ASS DOWN SOMEWHERE AND GET SOME BUSINESS OF YOUR OWN!!! GOTDAMN! 



Mama Mingnon!!! Yes GOD lady! You better work! Now here is what I love about Erica and her mother... Her mother knows her place and she knows WHEN to have a seat. Now the night that Erica almost put hands and feet on Momma Dee Mingnon made it very clear... I'm not going to let Erica get too out of pocket, but I'll be damned if Momma Dee even THINKS about touching my daughter. This is why I love this lady. Erica is going to age VERY WELL.



Chile... Oluremi we are just going to PRAY for you and all that insecurity you have going on.



Rasheeda You have a NERVE to say Karlie has no talent when the only Memorable song you had was "Bubblegum" Chile CHEESE. You and Kirk's set up storyline is getting real old real quick! I'm not going to waste too much time on you, your down low husband OR your "career".



... Bitch I am NOT with you! I can't even read K. Michelle cause she's reading everybody else for FILTH this season! And I DO NOT blame her.

Welp that's all for right now my sugar lumps! Its good to be back.

Bandz A Make Her Dance: @KMichelle Gives SOBs Life

Hi gorgeous lady! Yes people the above picture is of K Michelle with no make up and shes oh so pretty without it... Unlike The Following:


Mhmmm! Lets get into this! Bagsheeda, You say K. Michelle has been dogging you behind your back, but since the reunion aired you've been trying to sell your grammatically incorrect interviews to whoever is willing to listen to your ratchet ass. Her friends Karlie and Toya seem to have nothing but negative things to say as well. So K. Michelle, who never REALLY responded to any of these people as openly as she wanted to decided to do it the best way she possibly could... With a song.

 

Oh dear Jesus! I got my life and it feels oh so good!!! K Michelle! Who told you to read these irrelevant bitches the way you did?!?! It was rude, it was disrespectful... It was the funniest thing I've ever heard a day in my life! K Michelle loudly spoke to her back up sangers "Sang it with me back up sangers!" and then did! She belted out lines like "While the hoes is poppin' pussy in Atlanta... I'm poppin' Bandz" Yaaaaaaaaas K Michelle! A thousand times YAAAAAAAAAAAS! You better sing to Methusela, Flopsheeda and My Baby Can Read (Toya)!!! Flopsheeda maybe you should talk about that Floyd Mayweather nose you used to have and stop talking about K. Michelle's "Fake Ass" and her "Lies about the abuse". Better yet... worry about getting those bags fixed... I know its hard worrying about your caree... I CAN'T EVEN SAY THAT WITH A STRAIGHT FACE!!! Ahhhhh... I'm done! I can't with this no career having, side ways speaking, "I stomp grapes for fun" face ass bitch.

When All Else Flops: @NICKIMINAJ Joins Cast Of American Idol

So we're still not going to talk about Nicki not picking a complexion? No?... Fuck it. Nicki Minaj has officially signed on to do American Idol as she also prepares to re-release her flop of an album Roman Reloaded (Apparently Birdman didn't want to bail her out this time)... Well congratulations Nicki! You're making more then Keith Urban and $10 Million less then Mariah! And that album still isn't flying off the shelf so maybe you should take some notes from hmmmmmmmmm, I don't know... How bout we bite off of Joseline Hernandez... Go learn Spanish and see if that'll help your career.

NOPE!!! Joseline ain't going for it!

The Sweet Pussy Queen is Back: @TheRealMajela Got A New Hit

Okay, so why did no one tell me that this bitch was on X Factor last year swinging her sweet pussy on stage in front of Simon Cowell? Well that is neither hear nor there! The Queen of Pussy Slanging (Salute that boy @jeremiahKOEking... We do still dick slang in 2012) Has a new hit single, I assume is produced by Stevie J since shes singing about her snatch (HEY STEEBIE!). The song is called "Queefy Farty Vagina" and children... She is serving all types of hot twat. Her hair and outfit, Lil Kim circa 1997, and those Karlie Redd style vocals and lyrics. Yes baby! Ya'll get into this and get into it right now!!!

46 and STILL A Flop: @KARLIEREDD Take Several Seats

*Sips Spiked Kool-Aid* Karlie... You my dear are digging yourself into a deeper hole baby. Karlie you cannot be in your 20's because this movie as seen above came out in 2001 when you were clearly in your mid 30's. Not to mention this (Salute @xoBUG_) From the EARLY 90's!!!

 

Karlie! That is DEFINITELY you. This was back in 1997 so you HAD to be in your late 20's.

The Moral of this story is... DON'T LIE ABOUT YOUR AGE TO GET ON BECAUSE PEOPLE WILL FIND OUT THE TRUTH

The Puerto Rican Princess: America Loves @MsJoseline

Joseline!!! Heeeeeeeeey Baby Doll!!! With that new full face... You have been eating WELL. Today I want to salute the Puerto Rican Princess. Now there are some people who call ME a hoe for and I quote "Defending a hoe"... But I'll stand behind an Honest hoe before I stand behind someone who claims to be such a good woman, but her history for fucking other peoples man is longer the the constitution (Mimi, How are you doing Who-are?) Joseline owns who she is and she makes no apologies for her past. Now the sad part about this is, that with all the evidence and all the dirt that came out about Mimi people are STILL calling JOSELINE the hoe!!! Um, Excuse me Bitches, but JOSELINE didn't fuck a bunch of married men. JOSELINE didn't fuck up Stevie's STABLE relationships with women he was ready to MARRY. JOSELINE DIDN'T KNOCK OFF HALF OF BMF!!!... MIMI DID THOUGH. Joseline stay true to YOU my dear... You have nothing to prove to people that refuse to see what is directly in front of their face.

Dried Up Bubblegum: @Rasheeda Take A STADIUM of Seats

Excuse me Ms. Buckner... I'm here to let you know that WE'RE NOT HERE FOR YOUR TACTICS TO GET ON... OR THAT LACKLUSTER CAREER. Now I tried to hold my tongue about Rasheeda's comments toward K. Michelle, but I can't hold it back anymore. As if I didn't like you before I REALLY don't like you now. First you come on the show as a 43 year old rapper (You've been doing it since 1990 give it up) and Now you want to defend someone elses house hold but can't defend your own. Rasheeda nobody is paying for that doggy chew toy you call an album. Take your molded bubble gum and that joke you call a career elsewhere. Maybe you should try being a model for Sears or maybe Macy's.

She Should Stop Frontin': More Tea Is Spilled about @MimiFaust

The more and more I watch this show... The more and more I find out about Oluremi. Apparently Joseline was VERY RIGHT for calling Mimi a groupie bitch she was not lying (Something I already figured out). The tea has finally been spilled! Not only was she a jump off to Ja'Rule, Diddy and Stevie J... She fucked HALF OF BMF! Now, for those of you in Atlanta you KNOW, BMF had OVER 300 people... Thats alot of dick for someone who ISN'T a slut bitch to take. Oh Mimi, how your house of cards is now falling.

@2Chainz and @NickiMinaj Drop New Video, @HitmanStevieJ Produces Another Hit

Well!!! We heard the song about a week ago and as to be expected? Lame lyrics, Average stripper bitches, and the never ending turf war between Nicki's Lace front and her eyebrows. This Video? BEEZ IN THE TRAP ALL OVER AGAIN! The strippers were average AT BEST. Where was Maliah and Draya when you need them??? Hell Joseline would have been a step up from some of the strippers in this video. All in all? It was one big high def cluster fuck and I'm not here for it. But you can see for yourself.

 

Stevie J Has a New Hit Under His Belt

 

Now alot of you remember Meelah from 702. Well shes coming out with some new music and its sounding like a new hit under Stevie J's belt. Yes children as crazy as he is Stevie is and has always been one of the best producers of our time (Swizz Beak sit down somewhere). Well Meela has DEFINITELY been working so... for your listening pleasure... Here's a little R&B Leakage for those that still believe in Good music.

Meelah "I Should Let You Go"

Hey Pretty Girl: @MsJoseline looks Stunning in New Photoshoot

Look at that smile... but look at those LEGS! Good God!!! Joseline did a very Sexy photoshoot and she looked absolutely STUNNING! I love her with the longer straight hair. It softens her other wise very strong features and brings out her gorgeous cheek bones. Some people say she still looks like a man but seriously people lets just be honest Joseline looks AMAZING and all the hate in the world isn't changing that. Gone Head Joseline! Let have baby!

@RonaldMatters to Seiko: New Youtube Video

The cutest chunky cheeked honey complected blogger on the world wide interwebs is clocking all kinds of T and giving complete and utter LIFE in his newest Youtube video... annnnnnnnnd You can watch it here. Be sure to Subscribe to his channel... just because hes awesome...

America's Guilty Pleasure: REALITY SHOWS!!!

Yes people! This is our guilty pleasure. The ratchet, bufoonish fuckery is what America has engulfed itself in. From the Kartrashians all the way down to Love & STDs ATL we enjoy every bit of fuckery we see when people who want to get on embarrass themselves on National television and then expect us to feel bad for them. OH THE DELICIOUSNESS IN IT ALL! Now, while I was on facebook I saw a comment from someone asking why Andre3000, Ludacris or Lil' Jon on Love & Hiphop Atlanta... Well darlings, because they have better things to do then wreck their highly lucrative careers!!! Andre 3000 is an accomplished rapper/singer/actor with RESIDUAL money. Lil' Jon is one of the most sought after DJ/Producer/Hype men in the music industry to date. Crunk Juice is STILL selling and he also has RESIDUAL money. Ludacris is a platinum selling artist and actor with his own brand of Cognac and once again... RESIDUAL money! Why would these men, who pretty much set themselves up for life, EVER do a reality show like Love & Swisher Sweets Atlanta? Now while a Majority of reality shows are RATCHET, their are some awesome ones... Tia and Tamara's reality show proves that you don't have to be ratchet to get attention. Lisa-Raye has NEVER been part of a ratchet reality show. The It Factor was fun and entertaining. The Real McKoy was fun, entertaining and REAL. Lately these reality shows HAVE gotten out of control, especially since now these reality "stars" are getting full roles in movies and t.v. shows then they actually deserve. It is bullshit at its finest... but HEY! What can we really say... we LIVE for the fuckery thus we shall continue to tune in

You Can Tell Her I Said It: Dear @MimiFaust

Well, this week on the VH1 blog the we found out that the pot shouldn't be calling the Kettle black. Mimi, Real name Oluremi Fela Faust has been called out for the, how did she say it? Oh yeah, SLUT BITCH, that she so lovingly deemed Hosaline (heeeeeeeeey Hosaline!!!). Mimi blocked me after I posted this mug shot with the caption "You left me for That? But I'm so much more Classy!" Well a hit dog will hit the block button. You are on a REALITY SHOW. The reality is with all the dirt you've done Karma is beating you like a congo drum. You slept with a Married man Mimi, and now that somebody has "Stolen" your man (Lets be honest you can't steal someone who doesn't want to be stolen) You can't take it. You want to play the victim but sugar you stopped being the victim EPISODE 2 when people realized your stupid ass would go back regardless what he did. If you go to Necole Bitchie Mimi ADMITS to knowing A MONTH before shooting who Joseline was and what was going on. I don't care WHO retweets this... MIMI IS A LYING, CLASSLESS, RATCHET STAR HOPPIN' SLUT MONKEY AND YOU CAN TELL HER SEIKO SAID IT. Hell she already blocked me for saying it.

The only time I ever agree with Nicki

Sitcho Old Ass Down: @ThaRealMommaDee

I'm REALLY through with this old bitty. First you childishly tell your son to jump on another grown man because his baby mama couldn't handle her OWN situation (Stevie was prepared to apologize). Then you baby this grown ass man to the point that his black ass had a self induced asthma attack thinking that somebody who has no choice BUT to go to work to provide for HIS child is responsible for taking care of him and you claim she left him for dead. NOW! You're old saggy ass is on a stripper pole letting it down like its luke warm with that flat ass and those cow utters you call tits. You are 50 Momma whatever the hell your real name is. I wanted to like you! I think alot of people did but your Ratchet ways have rubbed off on your son which is why he left a college educated woman for a video hoe who had enough money to have ass injections and breast implants but didn't have enough money to get a better lacefront or a set of braces to fix that grill. Looking at Buckey is like looking in a mirror and you'd rather look into a mirror of what you ARE then to look into a mirror of what you COULD HAVE, SHOULD HAVE, AND WOULD HAVE been.You are the very definition of a Hoodrat... No wonder Scrappy keeps leaving Erica for bitches with no conversation or motivation. Take your old ass somewhere and sit the fuck down... and stay off the pole because you passed your prime along time ago.

 

Tell Em Why You Mad: @reallilscrappy Love & HipHop Check Going STRAIGHT To @IamEricaDixon

In more ratchet news, Scrappy is once again pinching pennies. Why you ask? Well in next weeks Love & HipHop episode Scrappy asks Erica to take him off child support. Well, there is a little rumor going around that both Momma D and Scrappy Doo are mad at Erica due in part to the fact that Scrappy is not seeing a dime of his Love & Hip Hop check. His checks are being garnished and sent straight to Erica's bank account. Yes children the "Money In The Bank" rapper is once again down. I wonder where Muffy is when you need her. Scrappy Doo if I were you I'd pawn that ridiculous chain so you can have some money to hit up the dollar menu for a few weeks (Its hard out here).

@Rasheeda: Lets Talk Money Management

Well it finally happened... Rasheeda finally released the video to her "Hit Single" Marry Me and my my my, LETS TALK MONEY MANAGEMENT!!! Kirk BLEW a few G's for this??? Sheeda come on now! You could have shot this video with a samsung camera and it would have looked more expensive then this!!! Babydoll... This video is not worth the money you spent and I say this as an unknown artist. If you're going to be independent then atleast make sure you manage your Budget money wisely. Kirk cut everything out of the budget when he could have kept the stylist and still had the $150 left to shoot this video! If ya'll don't believe me see for yourself...

Shout Out To @ATLien: Too Wong Foo #LikeASumBitch

... Thats a nigga

 I KNEW THAT BITCH REMINDED ME OF SOMEBODY!!! ITS FUCKIN CHI-CHI!!! Thank you Michelle for having this picture on hand... P.S. I love Straight From The A... The tea you serve is always so hilarious. It really does tickle my fancy

#likeasumbitch

@KMichelle - Irrelevant

I love K. Michelle's songs "Irrelevant" she has a new EP coming this year and I know for a fact I'm buying it. What do you guys think about this new Pain Medicine shes serving up???

 K Michelle - Irrelevant

Dear Momma You're A Hit: Who Is @ThaRealMommaDee

Momma Dee!!! I'm just wondering, I mean I know I aged out of the system but if I SAY I'm just a tall ass 12 year old will you adopt me? Don't judge me either. Momma Dee is the SHIT!!! Now alot of people on these other more well known blogs are saying "I don't respect anybody that is proud of being a pimp!" Well bitch you don't have to like it, but when you have 2 small children and you have to decide between feeding them and feeding yourself YOU WILL do what you have to do to make sure there is ENOUGH for you AND your babies to eat. She did what she had to do to provide for her babies and I'm not mad at it. Momma Dee is a hustler by nature and a pimp from the womb. Momma Dee I salute you and from the bottom of my heart, thank you for bringing something REAL to Love and Hip-Hop.